Thursday, December 08, 2005

Hey Buddy! Check Out My Fiero-Cycle!

YEAHHHH BUDDY!!! That's my fiero-cycle! Eat you Hart out Cory!
I thought you could recogonize for it's sheer awesomeyeah! Last summer I drove that sucker all the way across Ohio AND Pennsylvania! That's 2 states, buddy, and you can count 'em!

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Watch Yourself, Chester!

Hey buddy, ain't takin' a particular liking to Chuck Dawson's new assistant, Chester. I was at work today and Chester Shunt stopped in for a slice of pizza. I'll tell ya what buddy, that guy's a real asshole. As I've mentioned, I work at the pizza place in the gas station. Anyway buddy, Chester has all these demands like, "could you make sure the pepperoni is equally distributed" and "I don't want any cheese hanging over the edge". What a dick! And then he says something like, "do you pump gas as well as make pizza, your hands are clean aren't they?" Well buddy, that was when I lost it. I said, "Hey Chester, why don't you shut up? If I wasn't on probation, I'd show you some 'crick karate', and then I'd slap you right in the face with 6 inches of my pepperoni!" He told my boss and I got written up again. I'll kick Chester Shunt's ass! What an asshole.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Hey Buddy, Happy T-Day

Hey there buddy! Happy Thanksgiving! I just love Thanksgiving. Some things that I'm thankfull for are sunshine, I like the way the sun shimmers on the crick early in the morning, buddy, and the crick too, buddy, I'm give thanks for the crick where the fish and the crawdads swim! And beavers, too! And I'm thankfull for rivers, streams, brooks, estuaries, gullies, spillways, and sometimes canals, buddy! Anyway, enough about that. I thought I would share my crick brisket recipe with everyone!

Crick Brisket: (Meat not included)

First you need to find your nearest crick, stream, or brook. (I would not recommend a gully, spillway, or canal for this one, buddy)
Next you want to dig a hole about 6-8 feet out from the shore, the hole should be between 8 and 14 inches depending on the current (but don't you go deeper than 14 inches, buddy, if you do you won't be able to harness the savory goodness of the crick)
Then you want to stick your meat in the hole and leave it there just as long as you can, buddy! (Don't you take it out too soon, though, cause if you do the little crick critters won't have enough time to do their part in the steeping process, buddy!)
I usually leave mine in there for a good 8 to 10 hours! Don't forget to shave the meat!
Then you just cook up your meat any old way you like there, buddy! Get ready for a treat! You'd probably better open up a window too, buddy, crick food has a way of makin' it's presence known! It's cricktastic!

Stay Off My Wife's Car, Mitchell!

Hey buddy, my neighbor Mitchell was leaning on my wife's car again, buddy! This was the second time that I've caught him, and there'd better not be a 3rd! I told him the last time that if I caught him doing it again that I'd have to regulate. I said, "hey Mitchell, stay off my wifes car!" I said, "I can regulate with crick and forest moves like you ain't never seen before, and I'll do it too! Just as sure as my name is Buddy M. Leek!" That's right, buddy. I'm well versed in the way of crick combat. I'm friends with all the crawdad's and snappin' turtles (well, the snappers really stick to the ponds for the most part, and that just ain't my scene, buddy) but I do know some mean water snakes, and they can be found in the crick! Oh well, I'll see ya later, buddy!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Hey Buddy!

Hey buddy! My name's Bud, but everyone just calls me Crick. I just got a new place in Purvis, Mississippi. Actually, I've lived in Purvis all my life, what I mean is, I just moved to a different part of Purvis. Well, not even really a different part so much as just down the street. Yep, they call me Crick alright. That's because I spend so much of my time in the crick. I like to go fishin' and drink beer and catch crawfish and build dams and all that, buddy! I sure do! One time I redirected the flow of an entire crick just by movin' a couple stumps and big rocks! That's right, buddy, I spend most of my days in my waders, knee deep in muddy water. Sometimes I even make crick caviar! That's when you find a nice, big crawdaddy that's just full of eggs there underneath her tail and if you scrape them out and eat them, that's crick caviar! That's right, buddy! It gives me horrible "crick farts" for about 3 days, but I don't mind. I work down the street at the pizza place in the gas station, and sometimes I make a crick pie. That's when I mix up a little bit of everything I found at the crick that day and puree it into a sauce. It also gives me some wicked-awful crick farts, but it's worth it, buddy!